Across the Universe

furshizzle.

Vent.

i hate assholes.
i hate assholes who isnt my boyfriend.
and i must say james is no where near an asshole.
therefore,
i dont like dealing with others assholeish attitude that has nothing to do with me.
i hate self involved assholes who cant see any bit of the whole picture rather than the mirror they stare at every single day.
i hate stupid bitches too.
who are rude.
RUDE PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLEY BITCHASSES.
or maybe i should say impolite.
i can be rude on purpose AND reason.
but impolite assholes have no idea or clue.
yeah.
all in all
somedays
assholes get to me.
and i fucking hate it.
fucking assholes.
id love to explain but itll hurt ppls clueless feelings.
so dont worry about it.

Lady Luck.

found a hundred buck in my parking lot this morning on my way to school.
i bot a lottery ticket tonite.
if you start seeing pictures of me all around the world,
its not a time to start being my friend.
cuz i already have my lovely chosen ones.
and if you dont know me already;
you'll never will.

pahahahahahhahhaha

i know im full of it.
but...
WHAT IF?

3 years overdue.

earthquake last nite.
glad it wasnt a bad one.
glad the bad one didnt come.
glad james was next to me.
glad boomer and lucy were close by.
glad we kinda prepared our room if the major one comes.
flashlight, glasses, boomer, james, check.
hope everyones prepared in whichever way.


gluck sanfernando valley.

Help.

someone create AI already.
you kno...
moving outta california later in life doesnt sound too bad.
looking at rent/home prices around here are retarded.
fuck hollyweird and LA disease.
i want a homey home with a great education system and plenty of work.
surrounded with down to earth positive people.
sick of the bullshit fakeshit blinding everyones mental issues.
i fucking hate studying,
it actually pisses me the fuck off.
comes to remind me...
i talked to my dad last nite.
fucking asshole.
im just gonna blame all my problems in life on you.
and i mean ALL.

ON A EXTREME BRIGHTER NOTE:
james is so funny.
recently hes been the sweetest of the sweet nectar of love.
and hes making me blush with all the little sweet thoughtful things hes been doing/acting.
calling me to see if im hungry everytime he goes to get food.
off the wall sublet kisses on my forehead.
knee touching at dinner...
what is more strange is that i didnt ask for this "change".
god.
if he aint perfect for me...
just let me vanish from life now.
theres nothing without this man.

Post 4ther.

hmmm.
i've never been in ass to ass traffic on kanan.
maybe it was a bad idea to go to the beach for the 4th...
however the ocean, weather, sun, and cheeseburger was prefect.
drained my energy being in the ocean for like 20 mins.
my ear drums were hurting from the crashing of the waves.
the current and waves were so strong!

totally got sniped by like 4 seaguls cuz of james corndog.
i didnt even see it coming.
one sec i was there with 2 corndogs and a burger.
next sec i was ambushed.
one corndog down.
theyre getting too good at that shit.

basically beaching it til 7.
everyone was already at ethans.
and to my surprise th neighbors were going to have their fireshow.
too bad it was the last since theyre selling their house...
but still spectacular as always.
he had these fan ones that spread through the air...
mi favorito.

a lot of people showed up. everyone was there.
corona last nite never tasted so good.
i love the summer nights.

now if i could love studying just as much...
if that. :|
shot my first xray today.
hahahahahhahahhaha
im too young for this shit.
but never too young to make the dinero.
sigh.

transformers tonite.
heard plenty of greatness.
excitation.

Right Now?

working only the weekend is gonna murder my bank account.
quizzes everyday makes me procrastinate.
tho im doing fairly well outta luck.
schools awesome though.
strange how my classroom will be the same room for the next 2 years,
along with all the people in my class.
besides the ones thatll fail out or drop.
the teachers say "goodbye to your social life"
i say "good thing that shits at home"

OH which reminds me, that i finally brought that up to my mom.
flipped out for a good 5 mins, then continued to talk about my brothers shit.
being the youngest rocks. almost too much.
whatever, at least my moms bending with the things of the world lately.
at most shes always there.
unlike whatshisweakassface.
some daughter support in cash WOULD be helpful.
but then again, dont want anything from that man.

FOURTH OF JULY!!!!
no plans yet. :(
last years extravaganza was the shit.
but those neighbors are in a middle of a separation this year.
sooooooooo boo.
something oughtta come up.

July 16th.
i dont WANT to turn 22.
-______-
but i do want an all eyes on me partyy with everyone that cares!!
best thing about birthdays.
hahahahaha
OHHHHHHHHH!!
special guest appearance by
DEBI CHUN!!!!
good lord i havent seen that lady in 2 years.
havent spoken a word in 1 year.
good thing is that nothing has changed.
no huge conversation of huge events passing our lives.
cept turning 21.
shes with her man still, me with mine.
and so she will be there.
along with co workers, new friends, old friends, my friends, james' friends and if desired your friends too. (just none of those lamers referred in my Lame blog.)
it could work :D lol
of course i had to have both my finals that week...
but partyson after all that shit.
then i have fulltime clinical. HAH

location NOT definite, but prob at CANDLELIGHT.
since my boss has amazing connections with that place.
i really want it at Chapter 8 tho. its cooler over there...
but cover charges are lame.
ill figure it out.

before that...........
what the heck am i gonna do with my hair?
appointments on tuesday and my hairs basically a blank easel.
surprise time. aka impluse will take over.
fin.

Ladies.

last friday nite. LOVED IT!!
hung out with the old girls crew.
busy having fun to stop and take pictures.
im saddened.
BUTTTTTTTTT!
finallllllly got drunk! sheesh.
loved it...
though i dont think there has ever been an outting with my friends and james' friends.
it was groovy tho.
eunice is graduating this friday. holy smokes.
that was a quick 4 years.
im sure my 2 years ill zwing on by.
so far i really think this program is just gonna click for me.
anyways.
karmita is old. hhahahah jk
i just need to workk and workk.

Delicious.

this friday 4 years ago.
love created my story.
doesnt feel like 4 years at all.
but looking back to all we've both been through,
how we changed,
how we love.
so amazing.
so right.
so glad im not part of the beer guzzling, sloppy, beat down, letting loose, groupie hoes, bf jumperhumper, sloppy seconds, getting old, girls.
cannot express that enough.
aaand money says ill look 25 when im hitting close to 35.
booyah the benefits of asianess, no smoking, less than moderate drinking, and clear, smooth babies bottom skin, yo.
oh. and daily usage of the gym membership.
im feeling great.
gotta give it up to the sexist 6'1" part of my body...
jamesdeanbanaga. <3

Ooh Baby.

feels too good to drive that road. alone. :)
i got boomer a dog tag finally.
he is too handsome.
pirates 3 was just filled with a whole shit load of snake brainers.
wasnt blown away. wasnt impress.
cept the fact that the comedy was still there.
got the black super sk8 hi's.
LOVE THEM.
im gonna see eunice this weekend.
YYYESSSS!!!
mmmm.
can you tell my dogs to stop farting please.

Almost.

so close to drive by myself i dont want to do anything til then.
Apocalypto was really good. we enjoyed every scene. story was just as great as 300.
desiree is sure a life saver. LOVE her. lol love how we shared the harsh bluntness.
i cant wait til 2 years from now. like honestly i think thats when my life how i want it will start.
my own salary. my own new car. my own new tempur-pedic bed. lamo. newnew clothes. FURNISHING/DECORACTING. cannot waait.
but for sure for all that shit to get thrown into; new house/condo.
totally can happen and definitely will. best investment most of anyone can make.
i wonder how itll feel to be 24ish. that is just wacky to even think about its weird.
its like... o l d. :| then boomer would be 3. HAHAHAHA 3000 year old.
james would be 26. very intriguing.
but for now. everythings in the air. anything can happen.
i just hope my dummy car can make it til then. :P

Lame.

i think the lack of getting to know new people has contributed to my lack tolerence for people who dont amuse me or impress me much. its quite interesting how the lamest people in this world can somehow gather together and form a massive lame bodies of humans. god how can anyone stand them. being forced to sit there and look at these "individuals" causes me to involuntarily cringe and feel sorry for MYSELF that i am at that moment im being punished to experience total lameness. which brings me to completely despise when lames try to mix themselves with decent people that causes those decent people to be drenched in their lame stench. worse of all is when someone decent COMMENTS on ones lamer about something completely unanimously disgusting for no reason at all. except maybe to, by god, boost their self esteem for no good reason. all that leads to is a brave lamers laming without fear.

i think i just hate ugly people who matches their insides.
i think i hate people who are completely useless in my life.
i think i hate people i dont care for being active in my life.
i think i need to meet better people.
though im good where i am at right now.
feel free to replace the word "lame" with "whore" too.

p.s.
keep my name out of your lame mouth.
no you dont know me.
yes you are lame.
for whatever reason if your offended
even if you dont know who i am,
sucks to be a lame.
LMAO. thanks.

new favorite shit.
love it.

coming up within 30 days:

Jades post birthday party.
new work shoes.
Rights to a drivers license.
Pirates of the Carribbean 3.
Girls night out. (finally)
James and I 4th anniversary. thank you.
One year of owning Boomer.
Karmos birthday.
End of my no school spree.

there is nothing to look forward to after school starts cept for school to end.

Testing the Memory.

--- 4 Years Ago -------

1.) How old were you?
17

2.) Where did you go to school?
just about ending high school.

3) Where did you work?
fune sushi.

4.) Where did you live?
condos with my mom and broham.

5.) Where did you hang out?
drove around simi doing a whole lot of nothing.

6.) Did you wear glasses?
no my last year with those.

7.) Who was your best friend/s?
eunice.

8.) How many tattoos did you have?
nada

9.) How many piercings did you have?
4

10.) What car did you drive?
my acura now. geez old car.

11.) Had you been to a real party?
wtf "real"? hahaa

12.) Had You had your heart broken?
the first and the worst.

13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
single

-------------2 years ago-----------

1.) How old were you?
19

2.) Where did you go to school?
moorpark college.

3) Where did you work?
either togos, coffee bean, or the front desk job. i think it was the mist of all those.

4.) Where did you live?
my brothers new house with his wife.

5.) Where did you hang out?
i was home a lot. or with desiree. or if we're talking about my drunk stage that year....

6.) Did you wear glasses?
contacts

7.) Who were your best friends?
desiree. eunice. randi. karmo.

8.) Who was your crush?
jamesdeanbanaga

9.) How many tattoos did you have?
nada.

10.) How many piercings did you have?
5

11) What car did you drive?
same ol acura

12) Had your heart broken?
felt punched at times. not broken tho.

13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
inbetween.

--------------------Today--------------------

1.) How old are you?
21

2.) Where do you work?
dakotas steak house

3.) Where do you live?
with james

4.) Do you wear glasses?
contacts til lasik.

5.) Who are your best friends?
james. desiree. the ones i talk to the most.

6.) Do you talk to your old friends?
theyre all lurking around simi. when i see them we'll talk.

7.) How many piercings do you have?
2. haha

8.) How many tattoos?
one.

9.) What kind of car do you have?--
the acura still lives

10.) Has your heart been broken?
nope. mended with love.

11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?:
taken. <3

Forever.

forever is long. somethings in life forevers not enough. sometimes forever seems just about right. sometimes forever feels like forever. and forever can go on forever and ever. somethings arent meant forever. some are only forevers. as much as i want someone to be my forever; i want to be that someones forever as well. never know a forever til its too late to find out that its a forever. but i believe theres a place where forevers will go so they can start their true forever. a place with no doubts. a place of purest of happiness and selfless love. if only the world would live their lives toward that goal. if only the world would fathom the saying "you shall reap what you shall sow."

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious y'all.

Gold's Gym cont.

so that day we signed up. its pretty neat. i really like the movie theater feature a lot. makes an hour go by quick.

work hurt my feet tonight. didnt quite make the tips i shoulda made. i fucking hate waiting around for people to do simple things. but what ever. cant break the cycle of shit once its running.

our dogs have the worst smelling farts ever.

my bf has the smoothest skinnnn.

that is all. should i go bowling? but i really want this drink from Fridays.
mah...

Gold's Gym

everyones doing it.

hahahah well james and his friends all switched over to Golds from the puny gym simi valley work out. feel bad for the gyms out here. its like that whole dogdeball gym thing. hahahah i wonder if its true. anyways just found out that desirees 24 hr gym membership has been cancelled. now that the both of us are totally out of shape and that summer is just around the corner; itll be great to go together. whoo hoo. its weird. i apparently lost weight and all my old jeans dont fit at all anymore. i havent noticed. others have sure had but i think if i was to hit the gym itll be better. i really need to get into shape. last time i was all fitted was about a year and a half ago. gross. well at least im not like over 27 and fat mushy and pale. never will there be a day for that shit. disgusting. ok so let me know if you go there too. since its a club disguised as a gym. :P

ps. if you see guys breakin in the rooms. the one with the longer black hair is mines. LAY OFF YAH FUCKS. pahaha not necessary. but i like to add it just for kicks. til next time, yo.

Mind Status

i have a CPR class tomorrow morning. i should have already read this booklet that he gave me about 2 weeks ago. i read 2 chapters. not that its intense or hard its just that my mind gets amazingly exhausted just thinking about studying. wiggidy whack. then thinking about the 2 full years of school im gonna be entering this summer, makes me want to slip into a coma. i dont know how im going to be able to do this. i need to get a desk in this room or the library gonna be my 2nd home. good grief.

in ONE MONTH i will have my damn stupid license back! gah! its been 5 months of "can you take me..." NO NOW I SHALL BE FREE!!! FREE TO GO TO MCDONALDS!! hahahaha no i wont be going there. but i damn sure will get a lot of shit done with myself being self mobile and what not. and NO i did not get a DUI. i simply have the heaviest foot known to a korean girl. not anymore.

i dont think farrah (our cat) likes me anymore. its too much fun to torment the kitty. its all with love tho! on the other hand the pups are greater than ever. i gave boomer a time out for eating a lollipop and now he refuses to smell one even when its given to him to his face. love him. and lucy? well shes still buff and still a paranoid dog that watches way too much tv. :D

i feel like weekends are really weekends to me. i hardly even notice unless i was scheduled to work and the restarant was busy. now that everything is back to normal and the way it was. i love it. i love living here. theres never a boring day, theres always action and of course theres always james. but other than that i used to think back to where i used to live with my brother. i couldnt believe all the time i had to myself. which prob was the reason i was constantly out and about. which was also the reason why my brother and i clashed. but if he knew how much im at home now. haha its weird but whenever we do go out, to a point, we cant wait to get home and be home.

june 8th. 4 year mark for james and i.

pretty amazing. im sure my friends are amazed with it too. hah doubters! lol jk sure doesnt feel like it though. it doesnt even feel like ive been living with him for a year. i love how we function. how we work. how we just are. just taking it one day one week one month at a time with all due respect for each other. how we choose to grow instead of tearing each other apart from selfishness. i mean there is no past tense is love really. its either you do or you never did. at this point i knew i loved him before i even met him. couldnt have been anymore picture perfect. couldnt have dreamt for anymore. sold to me as is. thanks james for being james.

on a wayyyy different note-
if your depressed, not from this world, feel like the world hates you, feel like killing yourself... then kill YOURSELF. DONT bring anyone else down the fucking shithole with your sorry ass. i think its even more pathetic that people seem to "FEEL" that suicide it not enough for them but to mow down 827364274 people with them would make up for their self worth. fuck you fuck yourself with a fucking gun and die. leave the happy people alone. fucking stop smoking stop eating shitty food stop excessively drinking stop killing yourself. if you feel like your gonna have to die eventually and you dont give a fuck than you shouldnt even be here to begin with. fucking selfish fucks.

and the black community needs to stop flipping out about every black racist shit. if your gonna be crazy about it then stand up for ALL RACISM. and if you dont want to be called a nigger, "you people" shouldnt be calling each other that then. AFAI WFN PIJNFOAIBFOAIHF PSFJAIPSDFH gah...

thats how i feel. judge me or not who cares cuz i sure dont.
other than that...
"you look like snoopy and it makes me laugh..."

Disneyland

loved it.
hated all the walking but that was unavoidable.

California adventure was pretty cool. the hotel tower was the best ride in the whole park including disneyland. i dont like the new space mountian. was just a huge rave inside. the old one was way better. pirates of the caribbean was cool. jack sparrow looks really real. think theyre holding johnny depp as hostage. i forgot all the rides there so i was surprised and got pretty scared at some points of the rides. indiana jones, star tours, and the flight across CA were fanatasic.

its been a minute since i been there. i think last time i went was gradnite. then swore to myself i wouldnt go til i had a wonderful boyfriend. now that dream came true since thats what disney is all about. hahaha going with jorgine (james sister) jade (jorgines daughter) cheryl (james' mom) josh (james' twin) and one day with desiree (my bffl) made things all worth while.

jade who turned five this friday was a pretty good champ. walked the whole two days we were there. had only a couple of fits but those were taken care of real quick. jades a pretty dope five year old. shes a character fosho. her mom was just on a mission to enter into EVERY store/boutique as some kind of intense mission as cherly was dying for the oversized corndogs.

pretty much kinda rained on us on friday but we bought ponchos like EVERYONE else at the park and toughed it out. didnt really mind cuz the longest wait was about 40 mins. and the fastpasses helped a grip load too. we covered a lot of the park. but felt like we missed a "land" but we were done "banging out" all the worthwhile rides. those kid rides are definite acid rides. trip out.

the fireworks: FUCKING AMMMAZING!!! loved it. totally got wowed outta my mind. outta everyones. we're talking about how insane disney would be like when we're all old and bringing our kids there. wow to top themselves. a big wow.

other than that... enjoy some of the pictures.

pedicures are fucking ticklish.
total guilty pleasure to get em done though.

disneyland and CA adventure tomorrow and the next for jades 5th birthday.
i can hardly wait!
i wish desiree could come both days.
maybe eunice will come the next day.
oOOH!
but ov course...
zillions of pictures.

check one two one two.
i wonder
just how many of you
would be interested in my stories...